Pride!

Finger soft-touching the trigger and eyes resting sharp on the opposite side. As I half-stand near the dark-colored door in the fourth floor of an old building in a war-struck city, I realized that I have become an animal. When you are overwhelmed by the animal instinct, there is no right or wrong. It must be 26 minutes since I took this position near the door. 26 minutes and 20, 21, 22 seconds.

Still, no sign.

I started slowing down my breath still further. I don’t want the sound of my breath act as an indicator of where I stand. As I lay in an alert-calm state, I started smelling my soul. The stinking soul! When you are looking through the hole of .338 Lapua Magnum with an extremely calm mind, you would be surprised by the various sounds emerging out from the surroundings. Is this called nature? This is an almost ravaged building in a brazenly damaged city. The city is dead. And what am I doing here? I am supposed to kill whoever is not my color. Clear requirements. I could not get a better requirement than this. “Kill whoever is not your color”.

Ssshh. I could see dust slowly arising from the ground in the opposite side. Some body is coming over, slowly. Yes. A lengthy shadow. Before he could react, I shot him on the edge of his body. He screamed in pain and was forced to reveal his complete body. One shot on his neck. I knew he was dead. But then, I shot again, this time on his head. Then, right below his hip. He fell down. His body jerked up as I gave one final shot on his chest.

I walked towards him and stared at his body to confirm his color. I like staring at bodies which do not move. Five seconds – His whole body was in the middle of a red pool. Blood splashed all over the place as I placed my shoes on that. I bent down to turn the body over and looked for whatever papers he had in his pockets. I placed them in a plain new plastic holder taken from the inside of my jacket. These papers would act as a proof that I have killed my fifth victim in the last 14 hours. Enough to get me a medal of honor in my country. Who am I? A patriot? No. I am not. Do I love my country? No. Do I at least care about my country men? No. I am just an animal which kills for pride.

Just before love

“Do you love me?” I asked her. “Why don’t you understand?” she was frustrated that I have been asking this question for the past two months, almost everyday. “I just like you. There needs to be some thing more than liking, you see. There needs to be a magic moment. I need to fall for you”.

“It isn’t happening” she looked just below my eyes with a rather sad face.

Yes. She is right. Some thing is missing. I looked back at her with a dry smile in my face. She smiled back. I have known her for three months and I’ve never been so much happy all through my life. She, definitely, has made a difference in my life. But, sadly – she isn’t feeling the same. All the evening casual walks - all the late night train journeys. I mean, how could she not feel the way I feel? Some thing, obviously, is happening between us. Why is she not acknowledging it as love? A cold wind hit my face, hard. I turned towards her. She was adjusting the thin strands of her hair near her earlobes. Oh my! At this time of the night on a people-less road and a few meters away from the dim-lit sodium vapor lamp – for the first time in my life, I wanted to kiss a girl. “Hey” I held her hands and pulled her towards me. She didn’t resist. Heavy breaths exchanged. With closed eyes, I brought my face closer to hers and placed my lips on her closed eyes. Then, on her lips. After ten seconds and millions of volts passed between us, I said “I love you”. It was a different feeling altogether and for the first time in my life, I truly fell in love with some one. This time, I don’t have to wait for her reply. I know she is feeling the same.

Who said?

I whispered to her to come near me. She came closer, with a smile in her face. The smile, which I realized, is going to make me crazy for the rest of my life time. I drew my hands up so as to feel her fingers. I don’t know why. But, I wanted to feel her fingers at that moment. I cuffed her fingers. I haven’t felt anything soft ever before. Her chin went down with a shy smile. She wanted to look at me. At the same instant, she was afraid. I held her shoulders and drew her closer to me. She came closer, although restrained. I started having goose-bumps. The concept of magnetism must be true, I realized. Her head was turning towards me, slowly. “May be to have a glimpse of me” I thought. “Hey” I called her in a broken voice. She was silent for a second and smiled without saying anything. I brought her still more close. She immediately brought her chin down. I wanted to feel her chin. I made her look at me. Her eyes met mine. She looked deep into my eyes as if falling deep into me. Only then, I realized what love is. “Who said arranged marriages are not exciting?” I thought. I have had enough excitement for one minute.

I am back!

So, long time it was. I had been using my Office blogs - InfyBlogs. This one wasn't updated 'coz of that. Now that I have quit Infy, revamping this blogs sounded good to me. So, here I am hitting my second home. Yeah - InfyBlogs is my home.

Leaving InfyBlogs was tough. But, that's how life is. Hope to make still more friends here. Just like I did in InfyBlogs.

Whenever I get time, I'll post few of my favorite articles - which I posted in InfyBlogs.

So, what else?

Wish me luck :-)